Matt can’t go to school today…Why?…He has a backache.
Is it a coincidence that we’re discussing illness and pain in class right now? -my third cold and now a backache?
I woke up with a slight pain in my shoulder. It was nothing to be concerned about. That was, until the elementary kids began attacking me and landing on my back. After that, i was concerned. I couldn’t get my head out of a 45 degree angle without sharp pain. One of the teachers suggested that i see a doctor, a doctor that she really likes. I totally agreed especially since she gestured to what looked like an injection of pain medicine into my upper back. That’s not what she meant.
Acupuncture. OK. That was fine. I like to try new stuff. My pain was bearable enough that i could experiment. Then came the suction cups.
Cupping. This was new for me too. OK. “Sure, I’ll try that too”. Then came the blood letting. “What? People still do this?” My mind wandered and I remembered my visit to the Mutter museum of outdated and disturbing medicinal methods, that along with preserved abnormal human specimens were these blood letting devices. This didn’t exactly create the necessary relaxing thoughts to ease any back tension. But, the bloodletting didn’t hurt, so i didn’t object. I was told at this stage I could have some hot burning incense stuff on my body. I declined only because I saw this stuff on Korean TV. I didn’t want to scar my body and the thought of burning flesh didn’t jive with me at the moment either. Maybe another time I said. I had one last thing, than.
Massage. This was something i was familiar with. I was wrong. It was a massage machine with electrode hookups. OK. I’ll try that. It didn’t hurt, in fact it was kind of a nice combo. The result? After two hours of therapy, i had a hiccied and pricked back, two holes in my left hand and three in my left foot, and down $5. Everything else was the same. Perhaps I had even more pain. It was a nice try anyway, but when i got home i went straight for the Advil. I can now get my head to 75 degrees.